haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Watching her eat just hurts me
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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