I am puke
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
