I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Sext me about skeletons
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
