if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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