she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
