I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
