The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
