you mean i was at the winter classic?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
