they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
