like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
