Do you still have your period?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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