end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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