I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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