So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
