Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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