you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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