everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
