____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
