Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
