so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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