Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
