yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I cut my penus on the lid.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
