if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
