are you so shy because you have an std?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
