is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
