i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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