Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
