Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
