she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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