i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
