Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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