but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
