I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
