I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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