I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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