so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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