Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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