it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
