I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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