Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
