Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
