thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
