he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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