brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
