my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
