apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Randomize
