Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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