I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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