I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
