Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
