It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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