The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
