Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
