Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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