From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
