i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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