so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
