Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
